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lyrics

Smoke clouds the air, preventing me from knowing what to say
And I’m scared this mess will finally be the end of me
And I feel like a squirrel with broken legs,
Trying to climb, but I can’t even see the end
Of the tunnel, there seems to be no light
Am I losing this fight again?

And is this how it feels to be asleep?
I’ve been trying, but I don’t think there’s an end for me
And I, I am so goddamn sorry, but
I think the world is turning upside down
The axes are wrong, every decision filled with doubt
That can’t excuse a thing
Yet again I’m sorry

You never meant to poke the bear,
But everything is backwards and I
Think I lost sight of myself years ago
I never meant to drag you in,
But misery loves company, so
Can I change these patterns?
God, I don’t know

God, I don’t fucking know

I always talk about what my soul needs
But how do I know there’s not something taking over me?
And how can I get you to understand?
Every step hurts, it’s like I’m walking through quick sand
I swear to god this isn’t personal,
I’m just a dying mess with really nowhere else to go
And you know I think it’s fair to leave
If you have to force yourself to be around me

Don’t force yourself to be around me

I never meant to be a dick,
But everything is backwards, it feels like
I’m walking through a simulation designed to take the best of me
I never meant to let you in,
But now that you’re here, I’ll tear you down again
I promise I’m just really sick
Please help me out of this
Just help me out of this

Is this how it feels to be asleep?
I don’t think there’s an end for me
Is this how it feels to make you leave?

I told myself a thousand times
I won’t give up, won’t walk away this time
Good thing I keep my word
But every day crosses so many lines
I thought I’d never reach again, but this time
I don’t want to make you hurt

No, I don’t want to make you hurt

And is this how it feels to be asleep?
I’ve been trying, but I don’t think there’s an end for me
And I, I am so goddamn sorry, but
I think the world is turning upside down
The axes are wrong, every decision filled with doubt
That can’t excuse a thing
Yet again I’m sorry

credits

from When You Come Back From Hell - demos, released December 6, 2021

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Danny Gavin Gray image

Danny Gavin Gray Portland, Oregon

Queer acoustic emo/pop-punk songwriter from Portland, Oregon

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